While on vacation last week, I was thinking about some old saved emails I have in my Yahoo email account, which I've had since... the late 90s? I think? Man, old lady is old. Anyway, yesterday, I decided to take a little sneak peek into the email archive to see if I had any beauties. And boy howdy, did I!
Today, I would like to share with you an email I received from one Ambuler81 on July 28, 1999, entitled, "20 Ways to Piss People Off." Of course, I had to share this with Ambuler herself, which I assume made her day. After many requests to share the entire list, I find myself here today. If you're having a bad day, please see the list below. I hope this makes you smile. If it doesn't, look at the gif at the top of this post again. I will never stop laughing at it.
Right... to the list!
1. Go to the library. About every 15 minutes, walk up to the same guy and joke, "Working hard, or hardly working?"
2. At the dentist, start screaming as soon as you open your mouth.
3. Stand in front of the T.V. when your dad is watching a big game.
4. Every 30 minutes or so, call your friend who is baby-sitting and breathe into the phone.
5. Whenever someone asks you a question, say, "What?" as soon as they start to ask again cut them off with another "What?"
6. When someone asks to borrow paper, say, "Do you think paper grows on trees?" Then laugh hysterically.
7. Send e-mails to your friends with subjects reading "You'll never believe this!!!!!" Then leave the inside blank.
8. Put garlic powder inside the shower head in the bathroom (of course after you have taken a shower first).
9. Break into your fave celeb's house, wear their clothes and wait patiently to be arrested.
10. Fill your mouth with crackers at the table and talk to everyone.
11. Go to McDonalds and order lobster. After they explain they don't have it, storm out shouting, "I should have gone to Wendy's!!!!"
12. Tell a friend they have something on the face when they don't. Keep telling them to wipe harder.
13. When the lights go out at the movies, make barfing noises.
14. While on vacation with your family, suddenly scream, "Did someone remember to unplug the iron!?!?! "
15. Make up a joke that takes 10 minutes to tell and has no punchline.
16. When answering the phone say, "Yellow?"
17. Go to the store and buy a lot of things, only use all pennies to pay with.
18. Keep asking people at the bus stop "Cold enough for ya?" every couple of minutes.
19. While someone is taking a shower, steal their towel.
20. Speak with a fake British accent all day.
|thx for the lols, past amber|