Looking over my last entry makes me smile, because I was so hopeful. My quite beloved grandpa died 3 days after I wrote that. I was able to see him on the 30th (though he slept the entire day), and I kissed his fuzzy little head and giggled at his stubble (Grandpa not clean shaven was something I had never seen) and I told him I loved him and that I wouldn't be angry if he left. So, the next morning, he did. It was peaceful and painless, and it's pretty much all we can all hope for in this world: to go quietly in your sleep surrounded by loved ones holding your hands and stroking your face.
Then, I had the most surreal birthday imaginable, where I was awakened by my parents and brother singing Happy Birthday at 8:04 am (my exact birthday), doughnuts and Dunkies, watching Sunday Morning in the sun room (G-ma and G-pa's Sunday tradition), staving off all birthday wishes if possible, and looking through album after album after ALBUM of pictures for ones to use at the viewing and funeral. I looked through all the pictures Grandpa deemed worthy of albums from 1982 until 2002, when he started keeping them online. Tony went through the computer, looking through slides from the 50's until... well, 1982, I guess, and then the others kept online.
Those who know the Borashes are well aware that we are some picture and video taking people. My mom documented every Prom, every band trip, every play with her Pentax 35mm camera, making us pose and taking beautiful pictures that some people liked more than their official Prom photo. My dad, however, is much worse. My life is literally on video. Every play, every concert from school and church, every milestone, every everything is on tape. Some friends have stated that they didn't know what my dad's full face looked like until after high school, when the camera was small enough to be handheld. In case you were wondering, we got that from Grandpa. Holy crap, did we ever.
We spent the next few days in a family bubble. When we went out into the real world, it was jarring and strange. I preferred to stay at Grandma's or our hotel. Being outside didn't feel right. I wanted the comfort of Jack and my family, and we all needed to be together. It was actually kind of nice. Usually, when we're all packed in one place like that, it gets really tense. There were moments, but we managed. Now, we have to look toward the future. None of us knows what is to come, but we know now that we can face it together.
Also, I've been watching so much Buffy lately, it's kind of insane. However, it kept my mind from reeling, and that was just what I needed.