My LBD Feels Are Stars I Cannot Fathom Into Constellations.

But I'm sure as shooter beans going to try.

I've previously discussed Pride & Prejudice on my blog here, and I've also mentioned The Lizzie Bennet Diaries way back here when it was in its early days.  Now, we're 80 episodes in (not counting Q&As or Maria of the Lu OR LYDIA!!), and I can't believe what this little show has become.  I'm consistently blown away by it-- not only the incredible acting (every single cast member! every one!!), but the writing, the characterization, the modernization, the abs.  I mean, seriously.

 from griefovercontent.tumblr.com

We the viewers have now reached the point in the story where things are starting to look up for Lizzie and Darcy, and Lydia is getting cozy with Wickham.  In the source material, Lizzy visits Pemberley the house and sees an entirely new side to Fitzwilliam Darcy, while a teenaged Lydia is most likely being utterly ridiculous in Brighton, but the reader doesn't know this because Jane Austen doesn't show us.  Here in LBD, our Lizzie visits Pemberley the company and see an entirely new side to William Darcy (how long do you think he's had the newsie cap & bowtie in his office in case he needed them? "On short notice" my Aunt Fanny) while our Lydia has her own vlog, where we can see her relationship with Wickham unfold before our very eyes.  In Lydia's video on Friday, she's starting to show her sadness in fighting with Lizzie (rather than just her anger), and Wickham's like, whatevs, Lizzie dumped me first, she's the worst, you're so much better than her.  It's manipulative, it's gross, it's painfully obvious, and it's brilliant.

We've reached a tipping point in the overarching story.  I honestly don't know where it's going to go or how dark they're going to take this.  And that darkness is the reason I wanted to blog today.  I've been going kookoobird crazy reading everything I can about LBD, including some very insightful things on tumblr (you read that right).  I came across this piece that really got me thinking.  Is Lydia's story really that much darker here than it is originally?

from loveknowsnoend.tumblr.com

In my opinion, yes.  Yes it is.

Part of it is because I care far more about this Lydia than I ever have THAT Lydia.  Modern Lydia, portrayed exquisitely by Mary Kate Wiles, is so much more than her literary counterpart.  Book Lydia is silly, frivolous, one-sided, nonsensical.  All she wants to do is flirt and party, and she never thinks of any consequences for anything she does (I assume most of this is because she's only 15).  She is the second worst literary sister ever, right after Amy March.  LBD Lydia is silly and occasionally frivolous as well, but she's also extremely caring and bright, more effervescent than frivolous.  In most of her videos, however, there's this hint of Other to her, like there's so much more bubbling just beneath the surface that she's absolutely terrified to show.  That's what makes her a compelling character.  I see new sides to her.  Because I care about her in a whole new way, I care WHAT happens to her.

What also makes it darker is the LACK of knowledge we have going forward.  P&P is 200 years old this year (that's gonna be a helluva cake), so the reveal of Lydia & Wickham running away isn't news or a new shock.  Also, times have changed A LOT so running away and living together unmarried is not *as* scandalous as it once was.  Also, as far as plot goes, we know that Wickham tried to convince Georgiana to do the same with him years ago, and it didn't work.

LBD has pulled some twists on us.  A proposal of marriage became a lucrative business proposal.  A sprawling estate became a successful company.  Kitty is actually a cat.  What we don't know is... what happened between Wickham and Gigi?  Lizzie knows, but she won't tell.  Whatever it was, it's bad enough that she wants to keep Wickham away from her and her family, to actively hate him rather than be bummed that their "relationship" fizzled out.  Now that she and Lydia are fighting, though, she can't keep Wicks away from Lydia, nor would Lydia even remotely listen if Lizzie tried to tell her to stay away.  Lydia is 21 years old, and she feels she has the right to see anyone she pleases.  The underlying uncertainty at play here is scary.

from xony.tumblr.com

The age is another reason I believe this is darker.  Book Lydia is 15, and she acts 15.  I think the BBC miniseries shows this the best when it has the hotel scene of Wickham and Lydia together, and you can tell Wicks is like, is this giggling girl actually worth the trouble?  He looks relieved when Darcy shows up, as if he's still in the wet shirt rather than a top hat.  Personally, I never felt that Lydia was in any real danger.  Here, though... it's a different situation.  What did Wicks do to Gigi?  Why is he laying on the charm with Lydia?  Why is he isolating her from everyone?  What is his endgame?  It can't just be to run away together.  I feel in my gut that it has to tie back to whatever he did to Gigi... and I love LBD Gigi so I don't even want to think about what awfulness LBD Wicks has wrought upon her.

Again, we're at a tipping point, and I don't know which way the wind is going to blow.  Maybe it will go someplace dark and twisty, or maybe I'm being emoier than usual and I need to cut back on the Dashboard.  It doesn't matter.  All I know is that I'll be on the edge of my seat from now until the end of the series (which I hope is never because please don't leave me ever).

from the awesomely named krasinskisaurus.tumblr.com

(p.s. can this be canon please?)

NaNoWriAlmost

You may have noticed that my little NaNoWriMo word counter thingie hasn't updated in a few days.  Well, there's a reason for that!  I took a little NaNo break.  I don't feel I need to justify why I took this break to the internet, but I am anyway, simply because I feel like I need to say it "out loud" (vampire) to remember.

First and foremost, November has been my busiest month.  Ever.  Well, ever in 2012.  We went out of town every single weekend, to my in-laws and Charleston and a JMU football game and Thanksgiving in Brooklyn, where we had tons of plans that didn't really allow for me to have any writing time.  I tried to write as much as I could, and I actually had one good night in Charleston where the words flowed pretty well, but mostly, my brain was humming from all the busy times and I couldn't concentrate.

And this is part of my problem.  I tend to get bogged down in details sometimes, and I can't just put in a placeholder word until I know what needs to be there.  I'll fall down a rabbit hole of researching what kind of clothing a certain character would wear, which turns into researching that time period and hairstyles and small towns and bowling alleys and suddenly, I've wasted an hour without writing a single word.  By then, I've lost my train of thought, and it's like swimming through molasses to get back on track.

My other big issue is that I didn't do a ton of plotting on this, instead choosing the method of writing by the seat of my pants, or pantsing.  I've never pantsed before (that's a bizarre phrase...) but I thought I'd give it a shot.  Unfortunately, I think I've pantsed myself into a corner.  Mostly, I don't think I knew the characters well enough when I started, so it's turned into a bit of a cluster....  These characters deserve better than that, better than me shoehorning them into a situation and saying things they wouldn't ever say.  I became focused on the word count rather than the content, so I'm fairly certain I wrote a BUNCH of scenes just to have something to say instead of writing the story forward.  Also, I get trapped in my own head a lot, and that's where the doubt monsters live, and MAN those bastards will not SHUT UP.  When that happens, especially when all of this happens at once, I shut down completely, and I will lie on the sofa staring at episodes of 30 Rock while eating peanut butter by the spoonful and communicating in a series of grunts, moans, and wails.  It's terrifyingly attractive.

Oh, and I have books to read and reviews to write and a job that tends to demand a lot from me and tons of other personal things that I'm not getting into on the internet.

So I decided to take a step back, at least for a week (which started last Friday).  I'm still finishing this draft, absolutely.  I'd like to have it done by the end of the year, in which I will REVISE it to SHREDS.  To shreds, you say, indeed.  I still adore the story and my poor little MC in all his wall-building glory, but I want to do right by him.  I want to feel like he's earned it, when I definitely don't feel like that right now.

So... that's my story.  I know it's a bunch of excuses for what I said is No Excuses November, but I don't really care.  This is what I need to do for myself, my health, and my sanity.  That's the most valid excuse I've ever heard.

[Fantastic Five Fridays] Five Shows You Were Referred To By Other People

It's Friday, I got a job, I got other things I need to write BUT I was in the mood to blog and The Weekly Enthusiast has yet ANOTHER great topic and so here I am again.  Should I really be writing when I'm the creator of sentences like that one?  It's too late now because here I gooooooooo.

Since I am kind of crazy about TV, I usually choose my own shows and make recommendations to others.  That's why it's so fun when people recommend shows to me.  It's like they know me or something!  Here are my top 5 (except it's really 6) shows as recommended by people who get me.

1. Lost and The Office.  Referred by: The Hubs

Yes, I know that's two shows.  No, I don't care.  I decided to lump these two together because they were both recommended by the same person, and they both seem to be following the same course.  That is, they started out strong but haven't kept that same momentum as the years go by.  We've basically stopped watching The Office but I'm sure we'll put in the effort to see the finale.  It's just... not the same.  Though, of course, I do still love Jim and Pam.

As for Lost, well... the first season of that is one of the best ever.  I kept with it much longer than The Hubs did, though I tried to break up with it in the third season and then Jack was all WE HAVE TO GO BACK and so I said OKAY LET'S GO.  

stinking beardy jack and his jears.

2. True Blood. Referred by: my brother and sister-in-law

During the summer of 2009, I took up residence at my brother & sister-in-law's house while Hubs and I looked for a place to live.  This coincided with the second season of True Blood.  Bro & SIL thought it might be up my alley, so they invited me to come watch it them.  My first episode was Episode 2.02 "Keep This Party Going," which begins with a disembodied arm spurting blood and smacking a character in the face. A character who is chained to a pole in a dank, dirty basement somewhere.  I was like, humna?  Oh, it cracked me up.  True Blood is pretty nonsensical, but if you're read the books... well, you knew that was coming.

Cheers, hookas.

3. 30 Rock. Referred by: my OTHER sister-in-law.

Back when this first premiered, Hubs and I gave this a shot.  It just didn't work for us then.  So I ignored it, despite all the Tina Fey references.  So last Thanksgiving, OSIL is like, Jessica, honestly, you need this.  YOU NEED THIS.  And the rest, as they say, is something about night cheese.

4. Doctor Who. Referred by: my aunt, uncle, and cousins

Technically, they didn't refer it to me so much as they watched when I was in their house and I was like, ooh this looks kind of random, and then they kept on watching it every time I was there and then Christopher Eccelston was on Heroes and I sort of adored him and then it was on Netflix so I thought, what the hey?  I still have so many episodes to watch because Hubs decided to take this show over with a vengeance, but I still love it.

Why, hello there.

5. The West Wing. Referred by: pretty much everyone ever

Everyone needs to watch this show.  It's the best.  The cold opens are some of the most exquisite moments that television has ever given us as people.  Watch it.  CJ Cregg, I love you.

Hermione Effing Granger

This is the quote on my Harry Potter calendar today, and it just hit me in the good way.  Thought I'd share.

"I came here once with my Mum and Dad, years ago.  It's just how I remember it.  The trees.  The river.  Everything.  Like nothing's changed.  Not true, of course.  Everything's changed.  If I brought my parents back here now, they probably wouldn't recognize any of it.  Not the trees.  Not the river.  Not even me."

gif via weasleyfireworks.tumblr.com

NaNoWriMo aka No Excuses November

Tomorrow is an important day.  Why?  Well, tomorrow is my 31st birthday (WHAT WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN I AM STILL LIKE 23 RIGHT NO OKAY FINE).  My birthday, however, is the impetus for me to sign up for something I've wanted to do for a long time.  I'm downright terrified by the entire prospect... but I've signed up and I'm officially...

NaNoWriMo-ing.

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN.

Wait, you don't know what NaNoWriMo is?

That crazy word means that November is National Novel Writing Month.  All over the world, other folks like me who are on the brink of sanity have pledged to write 50,000 words aka about the length of a novel.  That comes out to about 1,600 words/day.  This is a daunting feat, and I'm scared ess-less, but...

No Excuses November.

Again, I said that tomorrow is also my 31st birthday.  It's a new year for me.  I am tired of making excuses for why I don't write.  I'm tired of finding excuses to justify why I'm not writing.  I'm just tired of my own excuses.

There's no reason I can't do this.  I will forge ahead and write and write and write and then on December 1 I'll look at what I've written and say HOLY CRAP THAT'S TERRIBLE and then I'll edit and revise and make myself sound pretty and THEN...

Well... that's a problem for Future Jessica.

If you're doing NaNo, feel free to add me as a buddy.  I'm JessicaBS.  I will accept all the support and pep talks I can get.

[Fantastic Five Friday] Favorite Movies to Watch When Sick

As soon as I saw this week's Fantastic Five Friday topic, I knew I had to post.  Growing up, my mom & I referred to these as "sick movies," which of course doesn't quite sound right, but whatevs.  (In case you're curious, my mom's sick movie is Witness where Harrison Ford hides out with the Amish.  It's 4:30, time for milking!) I've had many of the same sick movies since I was a kid, because I was home kind of a lot because of some crap with my elementary school.  Yay?

The Three Musketeers
This is an amazingly awfsome movie (that's awful plus awesome, JSYK).  Everything about it-- all the terrible  hair extensions, Chris O'Donnell's complete lack of a French accent, the historical inaccuracies and extreme liberties taken with the original source material, Tim mother-effing Curry-- is just the best/worst ever.  This movie was a gift to all of us from the Czarina of Tokyo.


The Princess Bride
An absolute classic, no doubt about it.  Now that I think about it, this is the most meta choice of sick movie ever.  My most favorite line/scene in the whole dang movie is below.  Best burn EVER.  Oh, my sweet Westley.


Adventures in Baby-Sitting
Nowadays, there are all kinds of movies and TV shows geared towards children specifically.  Back in the day, we definitely didn't have as many.  In our house, we tended to watch movies that might have been a little over our heads or that contained some "salty language," but my parents trusted that my brother and I knew not to use that language (at least in front of them).  My two favorite examples of this in my own life are Spaceballs and this movie.  Don't eff with the baby-sitter. Also, Anthony Rapp is the BEST EVER in this flick.  Comedic timing like whoa.  Also also, the first time I went to Chicago, I pointed at that slant-top building and said, "That's where Thor lives!" to my seatmate on the bus.  I was 17.


Buffy the Vampire Slayer
And I don't mean the TV show.  Now that I know the whole story behind this and that I've become such a huge fan of the series (and Joss Whedon), I haven't watched this one nearly as much as I used to.  However, I went to see this in the theater because my cousin loved some Luke Perry.  It's so cheesy, but I love it something fierce.  All I want to do is graduate from high school, go to Europe, marry Christian Slater, and die.


AND FINALLY
The Godfather
What, not what you were expecting?  I tend to watch this on sick days in my adult life because those are the days I can devote the attention entirely to the Corleones.  Plus, watching this usually leads to watching Part II.  Not Part III, though.  Don't be crazy.  It's hard to find a good non-spoilery scene to post here, but I decided to post my favorite part- the horse head in the bed.  The way that guy yells is always hilarious to me. (Warning: this scene includes fake blood, a fake dead horse, and very real but terrible acting.)


What about you?   Got any sick movies to share?

Currently... Blogging!

*clears throat*
*taps mic*
screeeeeeeeeeeech.
Hello?  This thing still on?
Great.
Sorry for my disappearance, but I haven't felt much like blogging lately. And when you can't say anything, you shouldn't say anything at all.  Wait, I don't think that's right...

ANYway, I thought I'd creep back in with the new "Currently..." blog meme that all the cool kids are circulating!  Can I be a cool kid too?  Yeah, I thought so.

Loving...
These fall-like temperatures!!

Please get colder!

Fall is my absolute favorite time of the year, and for once, it's not swelteringly gross here in VA.  I can only hope this trend continues so I can keep wearing my boots.

Reading...
Mostly Good Girls by Leila Sales

I've read Leila's second book Past Perfect and I pretty much loved the crap out of it.  I'd heard all the good things about this one as well.  I was in the mood to laugh out loud, and this is just what I needed.  Also, I just finished Ten by Gretchen McNeil, and it's perfect for fans of RL Stine, Christopher Pike, and creepy goodness.  It doesn't hurt that I pictured the male love interest as Michael B. Jordan.

Watching...
This. Over and over and over.


Thinking About...
The two amazing concerts I've seen in the past week.  I'm planning on talking more about them later, but I was lucky enough to see my VERY FIRST EVER Ben Folds Five concert in Central friggin' Park last Friday!

Photo by Dominick Mastrangelo who was apparently way closer than I was.

AND I just saw Florence + the Machine on Wednesday, and it was completely amazing.  Man, I'm awesome, huh?

Anticipating...
The Avengers finally on DVD!  Pitch Perfect.  The Perks of Being a Wallflower.  Once Upon a Time's second season premiere.  Les Miserables.

Wishing...
Well... I'm wishing a lot of things right now, but if I'm being honest with you, three people who read this... I don't want to talk about them on the internets.  So, I'll say this: I'm wishing for peace, comfort, time, and patience.

Making Me Happy...
This gifset.
This blog my brother wrote about our grandpa and his nerdy awesomeness.
Maggie Smith, as usual